Worldwide Candle Lighting 12/11/22 at 7pm


The Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting on the 2nd Sunday in December unites family and friends around the globe in lighting candles for one hour to honor the memories of the sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, and grandchildren who left too soon. As candles are lit on December 11th, 2022 at 7:00 pm local time, hundreds of thousands of people commemorate and honor the memory of all children gone too soon.

Now believed to be the largest mass candle lighting on the globe, the annual Worldwide Candle Lighting (WCL), a gift to the bereavement community from The Compassionate Friends, creates a virtual 24-hour wave of light as it moves from time zone to time zone. TCF’s WCL started in the United States in 1997 as a small internet observance and has since swelled in numbers as word has spread throughout the world of the remembrance. Hundreds of formal candle lighting events are held, and thousands of informal candle lightings are conducted in homes, as families gather in quiet remembrance of children who have died and will never be forgotten.

I will light my candle for my son Caine and also will light my candle for all those parents that lost a child, in my circle and outside my circle of loved ones. I hope you will join me to honor those parents and to honor their children. Keep the light on for their children in heaven to find their way back home.

Brain Garden Podcast with Elizabeth

Elizabeth arrived in the states from Peru as an International Business Student and we met at one of Cainegels Connection fundraisers at the park, where I got Elizabeth out on the tennis courts for the first time. Elizabeth is an amazing young lady with a passion! She will succeed wherever she goes, and she is learning the language, maneuvering our systems, and overcoming her obstacles in America with gratitude.

Grief Strategy!


Make New Traditions
Do Some Self Care
Celebrate those around you
Write out your thoughts/Journal
Pay attention to your dreams/Journal your dreams
Add your loved one's favorite meals to your menus/even their favorite desserts
Set your goals with your loved one in mind
The sadness won't leave, but you will get better at managing your emotions with time
Donate in your loved one's honor
Get some help/counseling/support groups
Do decorating differently, change things up
Make sure you stay connected to your friends and loved ones, journal, exercise regularly, donate your time or money in honor of your loved one that passed, talk to your loved one, decorate differently and change things up, phone your friends, write letters to your loved one, get outside!



Have you been out to the stores lately?

Have you noticed we went from Halloween to Christmas?

I don't know about you, but I have been triggered into a grief spiral of emotions.  

For anyone dealing with an illness, grief, or the loss of a loved one, the holidays can be a time of sadness, pain, anger, or dread. It can be difficult to cope, especially when you see the sights and sounds of holiday happiness all around you. (Holiday Survival Strategies for Coping With Grief (

More importantly, you’re also allowed to say no, or ask for flexibility. When you’re new to navigating holiday grief, there’s likely going to be some trial and error involved, so give yourself some grace. Navigating Holiday Grief Practical Strategies - Umoya Institute.

Navigating party invitations while simultaneously navigating holiday grief

If you’re invited to a party and you aren’t sure if you’re going to want to go, here’s a template to follow for declining gracefully, which you can put into your own words:

1. Express gratitude for the invitation (e.g., “Thank you so much for inviting me.”)

2. State the facts (e.g., “This is a hard time of year for me, and I’m not sure I’m going to be up for it”)

3. Clarify their needs / expectations (e.g., “Could I let you know that day how I’m feeling? I may need to leave early, so please know it’s not personal if I do. Would that work for you?”)

4. Reinforce that you value the relationship and are making an effort (e.g., “I’m still figuring out how to navigate this new reality and it’s complicated, but I’m doing my best.”

Following this approach, you’ll hopefully encounter fewer miscommunications and hurt feelings. Remember that the only people that will be upset about your boundaries are the people that take advantage of your lack of them. So if you’re invited to a party and you know immediately that it’s a “definite no”, you can follow the same model but modify to state definitively that it’s not going to work for you this time, but thanks anyway.

Navigating Holiday Grief Practical Strategies - Umoya Institute

I don't know about you, but when I was invited to a gathering recently, I said directly to the person inviting me, I just don't do well in crowds or big groups of people around the holidays and that person - I could tell by hums and hoe sounds they made on the phone that the person was "disappointed" in my decision. The fact of the matter is, it's not their decision and it's not their place to judge my decision. Being invited is kind, but the response from others is out of their control and frankly is rude to put any pressure or judgement in front of what others may be feeling. I have to make my decision and then be ok with that decision without pressure. Holidays are difficult and challenging after the loss of my son. I don't have a flock of kids to distract me. My advice, just be ok with any decision that feels right. I also recently told someone close to me, I hide what I really feel well, people think I am "healed" or over my loss, NOT TRUE!!! When I say I really have a lot of pain the response from my close loved one was "I Know", but really, they don't. They have not asked how I am doing to know. But, if they did, it may open the door for a flood, which I am not sure they could handle, so there is no right or wrong way of moving through grief. Its individual and unique. I do believe in support groups and being around people that actually "know" what that particular loss feels like. 

If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, chat with them online via their website, or text HOME to 741741 (multiple languages available). If this is an emergency, call 911.

Spotlight Podcast on Brain Garden! 

Allie with Advocate Safehouse Project is the spotlight podcast for October, which is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Listen in on our conversation!

Resource Spotlight!


  1. If you or someone you know are in need of support during this time, know ASP is still here 24/7 for you.  Call ASP’s 24-hour Help Line at 970-945-4439 or 970-285-0209. Si usted o alguien que usted conoce necesita apoyo durante este tiempo, sepa que ASP sigue aquí 24/7 para usted.  Llama a la línea de ayuda de ASP las 24 horas al 970-945-4439 o al 970-285-0209.

What We Do

The Advocate Safehouse Project is the only non-profit organization providing services to survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault in Garfield County.

970.945.4439 or 970.928.0209 

Support Group

We offer free weekly virtual support groups for adult survivors of domestic and/or sexual violence.

For English Support Group, call 970-456-1198 or email

For Spanish Support Group, call 970-456-5628 or email

We also offer a free, weekly, bi-lingual virtual youth support group.  Call 970-355-5434 or email

At any time you are welcome to call us at 970.945.2632 to discuss monetary contributions or in-kind gifts.

Gifts can be mailed to us at:

Advocate Safehouse Project (ASP)
PO Box 2036
Glenwood Springs, CO 81602 

Or Click the Donate button to the right.



The goal of “Safe Nights” is to provide shelter and safety for our survivors of domestic and/or sexual violence.  In our first 30 years of service, we provided over 35,939 “Safe Nights” to over 1,053 survivors and 1,092 children.

In partnership with the Glenwood Springs Post Independent, we sponsor an on-going weekly “Safe Nights” calendar in the newspaper on Mondays for the week. As a community member, you have an opportunity to sponsor a “Safe Night” for $50. Donors can sponsor a “Safe Night” for a birthday, an anniversary, a special holiday, a gift for someone who has everything, and/or a gift to remember a loved one. The opportunities are endless.

Your name or your special someone’s name will be published in the “Safe Nights” calendar on the date you sponsor. And, if you are sponsoring the “Safe Night” in someone else’s honor, a “Safe Nights” acknowledgment card will be sent to them from us, Advocate Safehouse Project.

Call 970.928.2070 or click here today to reserve your special “Safe Night”!


“Gift of Hope” is our annual holiday season giving opportunity.  Your “Gift of Hope” holiday donation supports our ability to help many survivors especially during the holiday season. And your “Gift of Hope” donation will include:

BABIES & CHILDREN – Providing the extra nurturing to help children and babies from violent homes feel special;

FOOD – Sharing the bounty of the season;

PREVENTION – Educating others with presentations on healthy relationships;

SUPPORT GROUPS – Empowering survivors of domestic &/or sexual violence with free childcare; &

FAMILY SAFETY – Offering counseling, advocacy and safety for a family in need.

“Gift of Hope” is a way to show your caring and sharing spirit during the holiday season and helping someone less fortunate have a hopeful and peaceful Holiday Season.  In gratitude of your “Gift of Hope”, we will send you or your loved one a “Gift of Hope” and gift tag that you can give to your friends, family, neighbors or anyone special to celebrate the true spirit of holiday giving.

Call 970.928.2070 or click here today to give a “Gift of Hope” this holiday season.


Select us, Advocate Safehouse Project, as your charitable organization on AmazonSmile, and Amazon will donate 0.5% of your eligible purchases to us.

Click: for more info.


The first Tuesday in December, is an annual online statewide movement to celebrate and encourage giving throughout Colorado.  Donate Now!

10/15 End of Season Tennis Fundraiser Party

Thank you to all the supports, tennis players, friends, family, and even community members that happened to stop in to check out what was going on......for your support!

Thank you to Derron Cloud State Farm Insurance and his grill master Greg Hooker for coming by to grill some burgers and brats for the supporters. Thank you to Cooper Wine & Spirits for the donated beer, wine, margs, and hard seltzers.

Thank you to Adams Orthopedics, John Zalinski, Sue Geist, Mountain Shadow Chiropractic, Epic Fitness, Richlyn Pacek, and Savannah Rippy for donating items for prizes and raffles for all the tennis events from 10/1 10/2 and 10/15.

Thank you to Alpine Bank, Derron Cloud State Farm Insurance, and Adams Orthopedics for sponsoring the events!

Thank you to the amazing tennis community for supporting Cainegels Connection Scholarship Program, helping to raise money and awareness for students graduating from GSHS and going into the Mental Health field of study! Without you, this would not be possible!

Thank you to all that donated financially, emotionally, and physically to help put on these amazing events!

Tips for Parents and Teens

Worldwide Candle Lighting 12/11/22 at 7pm

  The Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting on the 2nd Sunday in December unites family and friends around the globe in lighting c...